The 94 Year Old Murderer

Defense Attorney: 
 Will you please state your age?

 Old Lady: 
 I am 94 years old.

 Defense Attorney: 
 Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

 Old Lady: 
 There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm 
 spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch 
 and sat down beside me.

 Defense Attorney: 
 Did you know him?

 Old Lady: 
 No, but he sure was friendly.

 Defense Attorney: 
 What happened after he sat down?

 Old Lady: 
 He started to rub my thigh.

 Defense Attorney: 
 Did you stop him?

 Old Lady: 
 No, I didn't stop him.

 Defense Attorney: 
 Why not?

 Little Old Lady: 
 It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died 
 some 30 years ago.

 Defense Attorney: 
 What happened next?

 Old Lady: 
 He began to rub all over of my body.

 Defense Attorney: 
 Did you stop him then?

 Old Lady: 
 No, I did not stop him.

 Defense Attorney: 
 Why not?

 Old Lady: 
 His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. 
 I haven't felt that good in years!

 Defense Attorney: 
 What happened next?

 Old Lady: 
 Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down 
 and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now! '

 Defense Attorney: 
 Did he take you?

 Old Lady: 
 Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"

 And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.