The following tips work for anyone, single or married, male or female, who would like to increase his or her overall attractiveness and become simply irresistible.
Image#1 Let the world come to you
Mary had a crush on a particular fellow. Her heart just pitter-pattered every time she saw him. In an attempt to win his heart, she invited him to dinner one Friday night. Mary started planning a five-course menu – apricot brandy liver pâté, vichyssoise, chicken sautéed with shallots, cream and white wine sauce served on a bed of rice with asparagus, followed by a green salad and then dessert of homemade heart-shaped shortbread cookies and lemon sorbet. She took the day off from work to cook. When he arrived with a bottle of wine, Mary made the mistake of telling him that she had taken the day off from work to prepare. This put undue pressure on the situation. They couldn’t eat a fraction of the food. After dinner, they kissed a bit, but then he decided to leave. They saw each other, perhaps two additional times, but Mary was the one trying to get close. He really wasn’t at all interested. At the time, Mary was heartbroken.
Now Mary sees that she was throwing herself at him – how unattractive! She could have cooked something simpler and not needed to take the day off from work either. She was trying too hard to get him to like her and that ruined any chance of having a relationship. When you are attractive, people come naturally to you and effortlessly. You don’t have to seduce them or get them to like you or win them over. It takes work to seduce someone, attraction is natural and effortless.
#2 Make your home a sanctuary
Your environment has tremendous impact on your psyche. In fact, it has been said that your environment is a reflection of your mental state. Take a look around you. Do you feel special, surrounded by things that you thoroughly enjoy? The idea is to love every single painting or piece of artwork that you have displayed. For objects that are too good to throw out, put them in cardboard box in your closet or better yet, give them to friends or charity. The objective is to make your home not only clean and organized, but also a reflection of who you are. The first place is to start your bedroom. Make it your haven, a place to retreat and relax. If you have a TV, move it out and you’ll sleep better. Set up your home so that it gives you energy. Take the time to make your home a sanctuary and it will restore and refresh you every day.
#3 Keep a gratitude list
One way to attract more of what you want in life is to be grateful for what you already have, even if it is not enough. It would be a good idea to write down everything you are grateful for – your health, or a beautiful sunrise, or a hot cup of coffee. So what is the attraction principle here? What you focus on expands. If you focus on what you don’t have, you will attract even less. If you focus on what you do have, you will attract even more. If you are too needy or desperate, you will end up repelling the very thing you want to attract.
#4 Smile, be happy!
There is something so attractive about a smile. If you want to be irresistible, smile. It takes more energy to frown and be grumpy than it does to be happy. Make a list of all those things that make you happy and start doing them immediately. For example, someone takes a bubble bath complete with candles, a glass of white win and good book. This helped her relax and unwind after a stressful day at work. Someone else decided to bike to work instead rive and found this was a simple way to build in daily exercise and made him feel great at the start of every day. However, if you are not in the habit of smiling, fake it a bit. Smile at least fifty people and may it a practice. A scientific study has proved that when you smile, the muscle movement releases endorphins in your body and you actually feel better.
#5 Listen like you’ve never listened before
Most people like to think they are good listeners. Very few people actually are. Listening is an art and like any skill, takes practice. We were taught to speak, but never to listen. Listening is very attractive. As a general rule, the ideal guideline would be to talk 20 per cent of the time and listen 80 per cent of the time. Try this today and see what happens.
#6 Acknowledge people profoundly
one simple and highly effective way to become irresistible is to convert your compliments into acknowledgments. People get compliments fairly often: “Oh what a wonderful sweater!” Or, “You sure look handsome today!” Don’t get me wrong, compliments are great but acknowledgements are even better. An acknowledgment is about who the person is, while a compliment is usually about what the person has or does. For example, “Robert I really appreciate the support you’ve shown coming all the way from New Jersey to attend this workshop. Your presence lights up this workshop. Now that’s an acknowledgment; it is very personal and leaves Robert feeling great about himself. People will want to be around you if you are in the habit of giving acknowledgments. Just change this one little thing and you’ll immediately be more attractive.
#7 Be sensuous
You have to slow down to become sensuous. Being sensual is not about sex, but about relishing your senses of sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. Savour life and all it’s flavours and textures, its colours and shapes. We are physical beings in a physical world designed to be enjoyed and appreciated. In the rush of life, it is easy to neglect the purely sensual side of our nature. To get back into the groove, after a bath or shower, rub scented body oil all over. Do this slowly massaging and enjoying the curves and lines of your body, the silky feel of your own skin and the oil. Drink champagne to toast the sunset, wear clothes that are irresistible to touch – soft cashmere, silk and angora and listen to music that you love. Go all out – remember you are a sensuous being.
#8 Be an angel
Newsweek reported in a cover story that more than 60 percent of the population believes in angels. If you were an angel, what would you do for the people in your life? What secret favour could you do without them getting to know about it? Once you start doing angel acts, you will radiate and glow from the inside out. However, have your need met first, or else you will never you’ll never be ready to give freely and easily. When you have your need fully met you can afford to give without needing anything in return. Here are some examples of angel acts: drop cash off in an unmarked envelope for a friend or relative who is having a tough time financially. Send an anonymous donation to charity of your choice. Do a good deed or random acts of kindness.
#9 Develop your courage
One of the best ways of tackling fear is to start taking more risks in life. Why should you do something like this? Because taking a risk, doing something that might even scare you, will make you feel fully alive and vibrating. Consider these exercises to strengthen your risk muscle.
- Ask your boss for a raise. Most people are underpaid for what they do, so ask!
- Call someone up you’ve been meaning to call and, for, whatever reason, haven’t.
- Ask someone to meet one of your needs.
- Apologise to somebody for something you did that hurt.
- Return something that you stole or ‘borrowed’ with the appropriate apologies.
- Volunteer to give a presentation or speech.
- Take a trip by yourself.
- Take the opposing side of an argument. Stand up for what you think.
- Go to dinner by yourself to a nice restaurant.
- Take a class in scuba diving.
What is the relation to being irresistible? People who never take risks are rather dry and stale. They maybe stuck in a comfortable groove that even they find boring by this time. A risk or two will freshen you up and shake loose any cobwebs that might have been gathering around you. Keep challenging yourself to do something new and scary and you’ll attract wonderful opportunities.
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